Multitasking…. I’m not buying it anymore.

I’m sitting here on a quiet Sunday morning. The kids haven’t woken up yet and my husband left early for drill. I turn the Christmas lights on, make a cup of coffee and grab the current book I’m reading. Something in the book triggers me to think about a Christmas present/experience I want to buy for my husband. I grab my planner and realize I don’t have his drill weekends entered past January. So I text him, read a few lines from my book, then go back to my planner, then to the text, back to my planner, wash, rinse, repeat.

Why do we…..uh, I not have the ability to concentrate on one thing at a time? I would love to just relax! Growing up I learned that multitasking meant you were capable and smart, but is that what’s best?

My anxiety doesn’t help this problem, I liken my brain to a computer. I constantly have at least five browsers open and I’m constantly switching back and forth. My mind never shuts off and sometimes it’s exhausting.

I’ve decided I want to be able to give something all my attention and all my effort whether its at home or at work.

Now, where do I start? (Opens new browser)

RSVP, I’ll tell you what it means to me…..

Recently a frustrated friend posted about how rude and inconsiderate it is to RSVP for something and not show up. She went off on a rant and to be completely honest, I dont blame her.

I think some people really do not understanding what RSVP means and then there are those who are just plain rude. No one likes rude friends and family so let me help break it down…….

RSVP is derived from the French saying, Répondez s’il vous plaît. It translates to please respond. I know so many people who will only respond if they are attending the event. That’s not what RSVP is intended for, the person hosting needs to know if you will be there or if you will not be attending so they aren’t left to guess if you’re going. Depending on the event, incorrect RSVPs can be costly. When my husband and I got married, we could have saved hundreds of dollars on food for those that RSVP yes and did not show. Now look, I get emergencies happen. Physical emergencies, mental health emergencies, they’re all the same to me and I completely understand. What I don’t get is knowing ahead of time you have no intention of going and not letting people know!

In addition to the monetary aspect, I think my friend was genuinely hurt that people said they were going to show for this special event and just didn’t show without even so much as a text. When you expect someone is going to be there to celebrate with you, someone who you consider a friend, it’s disappointing. I can safely say most people just want to know. A little communication can go a loooong way. So please, the next time you have to RSVP for an event, PLEASE RESPOND and if something comes up, have the common courtesy to let them know.

I made today my B!/(h….and I’m thankful for every second.

I was reminded today of what it’s like being a single mom. Even my husband was surprised at how well I did. See, the last couple of weeks have been rough for me. My depression and anxiety haven’t been well controlled. My family did Easter Saturday and the hubby wasn’t able to go because of work so we planned something small (but still something) for Sunday. We invited his dad and step mom along with his sister and her family to have an early dinner before he had to go back to work. I digress, his dad and step mom were coming over and we had a menu planned. He would take care of the brisket and we’d try our best to get the house ready for guests. In the mean time, I was responsible for playing Easter Bunny. This after long Friday of running errands, a Saturday filled with yard work and an early Easter with my family, then prep for Sunday. Saturday night I managed to put baskets together and stuff and hide eggs outside. Sunday morning comes around and I vaguely remember him coming to bed after work. He says he didnt get home until 5am, which sends me into a bit of a panic. I know he has to work again and he also needs his rest. I felt like it was the old days, where I was a single mom who had to buck up and get shit done. I have to say, I was proud of myself and so was he. I managed to get the house and the food ready, all while having a great Easter morning with the girls. When my husband got up, I was surprised with a small Easter basket. He is always great about gifts and even on the small holidays will do something sweet. Why was I surprised then you ask? Because he’s been working his tail off at work and hasn’t had time for anything. I had mentally prepared myself that this Easter would be different and I was okay with not getting anything from him. This man has been busting his ass at work and still managed the time to get me a basket. How did I get so fucking lucky? Despite my stupid depression and anxiety, I kicked ass today. It was the confidence booster I needed to keep on truckin’. I can do this, I can thrive and I will succeed…. even if it requires a little hell. I’m gonna continue to make every day my bitch…. and I will be thankful for every second.

1st Season Coaching in the Books!

I survived.

My oldest had been playing volleyball for a year when her coach let us know she wouldn’t be returning as coach so she could go back to school. The parents got to talking and I somehow got roped into coaching so the team could stay together. The league she plays for is a beginner league so I was expecting a few new players. Well, we were given the max 12 girls and had 4 players that had never played volleyball before. It was challenging to say the least. 12 girls meant a team on the court and a whole team on the bench and less playing time. Out of the 4 new girls, 2 were extremely challenging. One with a bad attitude and the other just never showed up to practice. Since it is a beginner league it’s pay to play, meaning everyone gets to play equal time regardless of circumstance. The more seasoned girls were really frustrated by the few players who just seemed to not get it. These girls are middle school age but they aren’t naive, they can tell when someone’s trying and when someone just doesn’t care.

The parents came with their own set of challenges, you can do everything you know how to communicate and there will still be parents that are oblivious. I’ve been that parent before, so I get it. You are so overwhelmed with life that you miss stuff. I really do get it. Being on the coach side of things, I can now appreciate the other side and will continue to do everything I know how to communicate with them.

As a coach, my goal is to teach these girls fundamentals of the game and ensure they’re having fun. That being said, I made some phone calls to ensure our team was limited to 9 and we didn’t have the girls returning that had a bad attitude and never showed up to practice. We have 8 core returning so if everything works out, we will only have one new player this season. Practices are going to be harder and now we will be able to do drills that just weren’t possible before.

Let me say, I have absolutely no problem coaching girls that haven’t developed their skills yet, what I do have a problem with is coaching girls that roll their eyes when you tell them to hustle and give them pointers to improve. What I do have a problem with is a girl not practicing on her off time and not showing up to over half the practices. What I do have a problem with is girls that will literally just stand their during the games and don’t try.

The majority of the players want to be there and want to do well. I am really looking forward to next season, I’m hoping to help the girls improve with each practice and gain the confidence it takes to play the game.

WTH how is it already March?! Be warned! Long catch up post ahead.

I blinked and here we are, in the 3rd month of the year. I’m starting to learn there is no break after the holidays, we just move right into the next phase of controlled chaos. Such is life right? With the hubs settling into his shift and throwing in the reserves we are finally getting “settled into a routine”. January had some fun times, we were gearing up for the Rodeo, we went to a Rampage game and my baby girl turned 7! This year for Christmas rather than more toys that won’t get played with, I tried to buy experiences. I splurged for the good rampage seats closed to the ice and right next to the tunnel so the kids could high five the players as they came out. The kids had a blast and got to be on the jumbo tron! I even made my honey stand up to be recognized for his military service. He doesn’t like the recognition and I literally have to force him to stand lol. We were out late on a school night as that’s the only day we could all make it as a family, but it was totally worth the experience.

My Lily Grace turned 7 shortly after that, I know it sounds cliche’ but I can’t believe she’s already 7. She my fierce and fiesty one. She gives me grey hairs but I love the person she has become. She is the first to stand up for people that are being picked on and it makes me so proud to be her mama. In true Lily fashion, she didn’t want princesses or fairies for her birthday theme, she wanted Pokemon. You do you Lily, you do you.

February was exhausting. I coach my oldest’s volleyball team, so practice twice a week and games on Saturday. Coaching will be a whole different post as that has been extremely challenging. Then there was the rodeo, one of my favorite times of year here. Our rodeo has won best large indoor rodeo of the year 12 years in a row, hopefully soon to be 13. You see, we might not have the biggest entertainers, but we give more back to the kids. Millions of dollars goes back to the kids for scholarships. We also run our rodeo with the majority of the work being volunteer work. A good friend of mine encouraged me to come join the medical committee a few years back and the rest is history. It has been so much fun and definitely a nice break from my normal full time job. I love my job, but this is just fun. The medical committee provides first aid response for the entire rodeo, minus the cowboys. We respond to any emergency involving a guest, a vendor, an employee or a participant (again minus the cowboy contestants). In order to obtain a life membership you must volunteer 40 hours a year, this doesn’t sound like much but when you fit it all into 2 weeks, it can be hard to juggle with your day job. I was able to get a few days off and half days here and there to meet my hours. I absolutely love this time of year and the kicker? My best friends volunteer too so it’s always a good time. I also managed to see 3 shows! For our annual girls night out we saw Brett Eldrige who put on a fantastic show, then I took my two girls to the rodeo and we ended up seeing Midland play after the rodeo. Remember how I said I have been trying to buy experiences for Christmas? Well, last year’s rodeo date night was a bust (see previous posts) so this year I tried again. I bought the hubs rodeo finals tickets. We got to see extreme bulls followed by Brothers Osbourne play. They. Were. Phenomenal. I can’t wait until next rodeo season, dare I say it is replacing Fiesta as my favorite holiday?!

I have thoroughly enjoyed writing about my January and February, but it’s the weekend and I’m on call for work. Time to phone into our daily admin meeting at the hospital. Back to the grind.

Late night fire

My husband and I don’t have any days off together so we try and make the most with the time we have. My favorite time spent with him is outside by a fire after the kiddos have been put to bed. It’s for the most part unitrrupted, technology free time. I usually have to work the next day but such is life. Every time we sit outside talking by the fire I’m reminded of why I fell in love with him to begin with. Hoping the cool weather lasts a little longer this year, I’m enjoying our time together.

Don’t live for tomorrow or you’ll miss today, because life happens and then it goes on. 

I’ve had two blogs in the past, don’t live for tomorrow or you’ll miss today and, life happens and then it goes on. One was geared towards my girls and the other towards the realities of life. I’ve been struggling lately. On one hand I love my life, I am so thankful for my children and my amazing husband. I don’t know how I got so damn lucky to have a husband who understands mental health and who is so supportive. I see women complain all the time about their husband not contributing their fair share of the household responsibilities or a husband that dismisses their feelings and I am so thankful I have a true partner in life. He encourages me to be independent and reminds me how strong I can be. I’ve been an RN for 13 years now. I’ve worked in a surgical trauma icu, Neuro icu and now I have sold out and have a desk job. My desk job is rewarding and I feel like I’m still am making a difference. Here is where I’m starting to be conflicted, I feel like I’m missing out. Now that I have a “normal” schedule I am able to take days off for important things, birthdays, mental health days, sick days…..  the days I have off I am so productive and I get the enjoy my family without always being in a rush. I never thought I’d be one to want to stay at home. I prided myself on being a mom and being successful in my career. Now, all I can think about is rocking the stay at home mom gig. It’s not in the cards for us and that’s killing me. I can’t describe the desire I have to take care of my family full time.  I don’t know if another baby is in the cards for us but I do know I love being a mom and I want nothing more than to take care of my family full time. Who knows what the future holds, I just have to not live for tomorrow or I’ll miss today because life happens and then it goes on. 

S. N. O. W. 

Y’ALL. It SNOWED in San Antonio. This rarely happens so when it does people get ridiculously (myself included) excited. I’m talking kid on Christmas morning excited. We were leaving party city to pick up our groceries curb side at HEB. I didn’t believe my eyes at first but then it became clear they weren’t just flurries. On the way to HEB all of a sudden I hear crying from the back seat. My Lily is bawling as she says, I’m happy crying right now, I’ve always wanted to see snow. She is so my child haha. After picking up the groceries we head home and get to play in the snow. The last time is snowed here almost 7 years ago, it was more of an icing than snow. We decided to make the most of it and play out front with the neighbors. It was heart warming to see the neighborhood come out and interact. I let the girls stay up late to play then we had hot cocoa to warm up before bed. Some people may think we’re silly for acting like this but it makes my heart happy to see something so simple bring people together. There’s nothing like the excitement of my kids experiencing snow for the first time and building tiny snowmen. My heart is full as my children will always remember this evening. 

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